Without a doubt, the coronavirus pandemic sucks. It’s overworking our essential personnel, it’s striking down the world’s most vulnerable populations, it’s exacerbating mental health stressors, it’s trapping domestic violence behind locked doors, and it’s left millions unemployed. Not to mention it’s killing thousands. It’s affected every single person on planet Earth in some way, and for many horse lovers, it’s (temporarily) torn us away from our four-legged friends.
Sorry – that was a rough way to start. Ready for the silver lining? This pandemic has fostered a whole new sense of intentionality in my life and I’ve noticed it growing in the lives of the people around me, too.
Time is a fickle thing and, now more than ever, I’ve been thinking about how little time we really get on this planet and how we choose to use that time. I don’t mean that I want to have a plan for every second of every day; rather, I’m thinking about how I choose to present myself throughout the day. Did I say “Thank you” to the worker wiping the door handles in the frozen food aisle? Did I take deep breaths when I was feeling overwhelmed? Did I take the time to tell friends and family how much they mean to me?
Being intentional is HARD. It’s much easier to just bury your head in your work and get to the end of the day. And in the horse world, it can be hard to find enough time to have those intentional moments when you are rushing to tack up for your lesson or frantically trying to accomplish all the tasks on your to-do list. But being intentional with your equine friends is the nectar for strong, trusting relationships.
To be intentional, you have to be the one to “stop and smell the roses.” You have the choice of either rushing through your day or finding moments to pause along the way. Everyone has different ways of slowing down, but these are the three things I do to be intentional:
- Take a deep breath.
- Notice how I’m feeling and resist the urge to pass judgement.
- Accept those feelings, whatever they may be, and allow myself to be grateful for someone or something near me.
(One more step if I’m lucky enough to be at the barn): Give a pony a kiss on the nose, a gentle rub on the forehead, and maybe a cookie, too.
Horses are reactive and not only do they respond to your actions, but they also respond to your emotions. If you come to the barn ready to be intentional in your relationship with your horse, I guarantee you will have a more productive experience than if you show up frazzled, your mind buzzing about how to finish the lesson in time to do ______ (you fill in the blank). Even a small moment of appreciation can make your horse feel calmer and more willing to listen and work with you. At the end of the day, you and your horse are a team and only when you feel connected through a trusting relationship can you achieve your highest goals.
My favorite way of being intentional is to just be present and listen. I love taking a horse outside to graze on a lush patch of grass. It’s such an easy way to treat your horse to something special and share the experience with them. I’ve also been known to just hang out in or near the paddock with Pilot (the chestnut featured in many of my pictures). Though he’s mostly interested in his food or the wild turkeys hopping on tree branches, he’ll always stay near me and seems to enjoy the company. And when it is too dark to be outside with him, I just stand in the stall and give him scratches while we look out his window at the glowing moon.
Whether you are at home now or able to visit the barn, I challenge you to think about how you are going to be more intentional with your favorite horse. Maybe it means coming to the barn 10 minutes earlier so that you can curry their favorite spot a little longer, or so that you can graze your pony after your ride in the summer sun. Maybe it means spending a minute in the stall taking a deep breath and setting a personal goal for your lesson before heading to the ring. Or maybe it just means booping your horse on the snoot and taking a silly picture with them.
Whatever you choose to do will be wonderful. We all can work harder to be more intentional with our horses.
Take a deep breath. Notice how you feel. Allow gratitude.